A Time to Grieve and a Time to Dance

GG came to visit not long ago, sporting a lovely necklace – the first ‘girly look’ I’d ever seen on her. Immediately, I thought about my locket from long ago.

The one with pictures of my two boys. One lives in a city 45 minutes away; the other lives in Heaven.

I showed her how the locket opens...

and explained that the picture was her daddy when he was a baby. I didn’t mention that the other one was her uncle…the one who lives in Heaven. She’s too young to understand, but she will…one day…

Many years ago we suffered the worst loss – our 18 month old son. Our first-born.

It was a very black time in our lives, but I held fast to my faith…and slowly – very slowly, the shadows lifted, and life resumed.

Each year, though, on little Jay’s birthday, my heart broke once again, and I started over. When the calendar showed the approaching date, I remembered, and dreaded the inevitable: a sorrow-filled day. We’d make it through that day. Life resumed. And then, again the next year, it would happen again. I wondered if I would ever face that day without such heaviness of heart.

One year, several years after our loss, we received an invitation to my cousin’s wedding. My heart dropped when I read the date. May 2nd. Of 365 days on the calendar, they had choosen our little Jay’s birthday. I just knew it would be a very hard day for us, but we decided to attend, anyway.

The second of May dawned brightly, and I was so busy getting ready to go, I didn’t look at the calendar. We dressed in our finery, drove to the country church, listened to solemn vows, and prayed for the bride and groom as they began their lives together. From there we travelled to a little community hall, enjoyed a wonderful dinner, joyously danced in celebration of fresh new love and new beginnings. We visited with family members we don’t see often enough, and others who are now gone…

Exhausted with that ‘good kind of tired’, we arrived home. It wasn’t until I was getting ready for bed, that I glanced at the calendar and remembered the date.

I’d made it through.

It hadn’t been the day I’d dreaded. In fact, it had been wonderful. It was at that precise moment, I knew I was healing. There truly is

a time to grieve

and a time to dance. 

(Ecclesiastes 3:4b)

Of course, that wasn’t the end of my grieving. But it was a turning point. It was the re-birth of a long-forgotten joy; a much-needed emotion.

If you are in the depths of sorrow;

an inky black hole you can't seem to escape,

hold fast to the One who

gives power to the tired and worn out, and strength to the weak. 

(Isaiah 40:29)  

The carpenter from Nazareth,

the King of Kings

 and Lord of Lords. 

He knows your suffering; he knows your pain. 

Give your burdens to the Lord.  He will carry them.

(Psalms 55:22)

Happy Anniversary, Bobby and Carol. May God bless you all of your days.

Yesterday I learned that my friend had a new grandbaby, born on May 2nd. Welcome to the world, wee Jaime Paul. May God bless you, as well.